Sunday, July 17, 2011

Not Feeling Very

When I started blogging in February, life was pretty simple. In between classes, and without a more-than-part-time job, I wrote every evening. It was easy, and it connected me to you without much sacrifice on this end.

But the summertime has been different, bursting like farmers' fields with work and life and running.

And where I was once feeling full...

Today I'm a little...


Feelings are strange, aren't they? Full of conflicting emotions, I'm left to face the idea that I'm not patient or Christ-like or most things I'd really hoped to be at this point.

So where does faith fit into these times? If feelings reflect truth, then am I all scorched and dried out on the inside?

Maybe not. I sure hope not. 

Recently, a friend of mine was dealt some scary news at the doctor. Praying with her, I had this sudden image of Israel in the desert, traipsing toward the promise with sandy toes and an enormous cloud leading the way. Through long desert days, a cloud led them.

A cloud.

Tonight I told Little Man the story of Christ's transfiguration. Maybe you've heard of it? Jesus and three guys on a lonely mountain, and suddenly it's Jesus and five guys on a mountain. Peter asks if they're camping out for the night, and God replies...

With a cloud.

Apparently it was a thick cloud - a deep and unnatural fog that spooked those fellas. Y'know how I know that? (Because I'm a genius.) Because Luke says those three tough guys on the mountain with Jesus & Co. felt afraid.

And then God talked to them.

So now I'm thinkin' an exhausted time,
a dark time,
an uncertain and difficult and rocky time
isn't maybe a crisis after all.
Maybe it's an opportunity to listen instead of look,
To hear in that fog something you'd plain forgotten in the streaming daylight.

And what is faith anyway, if not practical? Like Christ on the storm-tossed boat, it doesn't fall overboard when our ship is rocked.

And that's something, isn't it?

Content anyway,