Cream Cheese Obsession

So I made a promise Friday night. Who remembers what it was? *crickets*

That's right, I promised to post a recipe for fruit trays! Yes, my kitchen skills are so recipe-dependent that I need a recipe to assemble fruit. I thought maybe you were the same? *crickets*

The problem was that I didn't want to chop any fruit. And I definitely didn't want to dip it into lemon juice. That's not my style! Translation: Too much delay between fruit purchase and fruit-dip eating.

The Preacher thought maybe I could use oranges. But I needed something people could dip into cream cheesy goodness, and it's possible I was just plain too lazy to peel them. (Sorry, Preacher! Happy Valentine's Day!)

In the end, I went to the supermarket and stumbled around until I fell into a berry theme. Plus grapes. But my real discovery was this fabulous, addictive, so-easy-even-I-could-do-it. . .

Cream Cheese Obsession Dip (Oh, and Fruit):

Ingredients:
green leaf lettuce
2 lbs. grapes
1 qt. blueberries (or boosbees, as Princess calls them)
2 lbs. strawberries
8 oz. cream cheese (softened)
7 oz. marshmallow cream
2 t. orange juice

1) Wash fruit thorougly; drain and dry. Arrange lettuce leaves on platter, and place fruit onto leaves.

2) Make sure platter is out of children's reach as you assemble dip. Do as I say!

3) Using a warm spoon, thoroughly mix cream cheese, marshmallow cream, and orange juice. Get frustrated at tiny lumps, and use mixer. Resign yourself to lumps and lick the spoon. And the beaters.

4) Get a clean spoon and slide dip into bowl. Place in center of fruit tray. Enjoy!

After I figured out which fruit to use, which way was up, and my middle name - this was an easy addition to our Valentine's dinner, and my kids loved it.

Now if I could just stay away from the dip . . .

(Send help.)

Happy Valentine's Day, friends!

Ruining fruit with cream,
Becki~

Shared here: Time-Warp Wife! 
And here: Valentine's Dinner at Home
And here: Beauty & Bedlam!

Fresh Bread

 This is bread:

 

 And so is this: 

The end.

Just kidding.

Seriously, bread-making is my new hobby. I've been baking bread twice a week for the last month, and I miss it on non-bread-making days. Kneading helps my psyche, and it's not so bad for my arms, either. You should see my triceps! Or biceps? Whichever.

I'm going to write a book about bread-making called The Therapeutic Value of Bread-Making in Everyday Kitchen Settings. Catchy, right?

(Title suggestions?)

For today, I think I'll just focus on the calming effects of bread-eating.

*Pretend I took a picture of warm buttered bread and inserted it here.*

Mmm...

Oh, and here's the recipe, in case you're in need of therapy: Memo's Brown Bread

Joy to the world,

Becki*

I posted this with Beauty and Bedlam: Tasty Tuesday!

And: Time-Warp Wife

Also participating in Feasting in Fellowship Fridays! 

My First Official Recipe Post!

Ok, so cooking blogs are big, aren't they? (You: "I know, right?") So in an effort to keep your interest, I'll share a real-life home-cooked disaster recipe, which I may or may not have cooked up this very evening.

Ingredients:
1.5 lbs. ground beef
1 can tomato sauce
8 oz. water
chili spices (No need for measurements; trust me.)
trash can

1) Brown ground beef; drain. Return to pan.

2) Add tomato sauce to beef, but be too lazy to open entire lid. Instead, allow contents to drizzle out of a small opening. (This is important. Trust me again, friend.)

3) Finish opening empty can's lid. Turn on water and prepare to fill can.

4) See this:

5) Cry. Shout. Pray for mercy.

6) Forget the water. Forget the spices. Throw your hard work into the trash, and serve your family carrots and fish sticks. The end.

Now isn't cooking fun?

Truth-in-blogging Disclosure: No one could make this stuff up; welcome to my kitchen. 

--Becki