Thursday, June 30, 2011

Five More Things

Ok, so I just wrote the world's longest and most random introduction to this blog, and then deleted it.

Welcome to my world.

Today for your reading enjoyment, I thought it was time to get to know each other a little better. You're already aware that I mess up dinner sometimes. And my kids are occasionally forced to wear my socks. But you may not have known that...

5) I'm absolutely, positively unreasonably afraid of bugs. I hate them! (And yes, hate is a strong word.)

Seriously, I won't label it a "phobia," (mainly because I'm afraid of that word), but I can't stand insects. Several years ago my house was invaded by ladybugs. Prior to that invasion, ladybugs and I were on good terms. Really, how could you hate ladybugs? They're so cute!

Until they invade your house.

By the thousands!

I remember the day I squashed one in my foyer, its neon insides staining the linoleum. Little Man frowned and said:

"But Mommy, I thought we liked ladybugs!"

And I said, "Not anymore."

That's how I feel about bugs.

4) I have strong opinions about dental floss. We won't go into detail here, but let it be known that store-brand floss doesn't cut it for me.

Last year I saved $.25 and bought the store brand, only to have it get stuck in my teeth that night. Will someone please tell me what you're supposed to do when floss gets stuck in your teeth?

That's right: Go back to the store, and spend the quarter!

3) I'm a writing tutor for graduate students. Hence, I know how to write full sentences, and I understand the meaning of "fragment." Also, I know that writers should avoid beginning sentences with conjunctions. It don't sound proper.

But here on my blog, I write like a crazy person. That's just the way it is. (Thanks for understanding.)

2) When I feel stressed out, I either crash and burn, or clean like a maniac. Today we had something of a family emergency. While we were waiting to hear news from the hospital, I made beds, vacuumed, and did three loads of laundry.

The Preacher's wondering how to manufacture a pseudo-emergency every day.

1) The summer before kindergarten, my best friend was a little boy in the neighborhood named Jason. We built dragons out of Legos, dug holes in our back yards, and generally drove our moms crazy.

One day, I told Jason I wanted to be a boy. And he, an expert on all things boy, said, "If you eat grass, you'll turn into a boy."

You know what happened next, right?

But what you don't know is this: When I told Little Man that story, he didn't laugh. He said, "Did it work?"

(I'm letting the Preacher handle that one.)

0) I've missed you all, and neglected you heartlessly. I'm thankful you're so gracious about my absences. Because as it turns out...

Life goes on,

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